It turns out, the true version of me doesn’t want to come out unless it’s more likely that at least one person watching would accept it.

This is the wrong answer.

It’s one of my many wrong answers.

In fact, I am the queen of wrong answers.

This is just one of them.

We’re supposed to be our true versions all the time, regardless of what anyone says or thinks.

We’re not supposed to bring it out when it’s safe and then tuck it away again at the slightest hint of resistance.

That’s not the right answer.

But, it’s the true answer.

At least for now…

Well, because of that, I’m Kit right now. Because of all the stuff.

Remember how a little while ago I told you that becoming Lilly takes precarious effort?

Well, it does.

But, I’m sitting here thinking: “I have to find a way to do this faster because everything depends on it. Everything.”

I have to be Lilly to get through this.

So.

How do I do that faster and more reliably?

I started to think of strategies and to do that, I started by picturing the end goal.

Who was Lilly?

The phrases “radical honesty” and “radical acceptance” surged to my mind.

These two things go hand-in-hand. You need radical honesty to know what you’re radically accepting, and radical acceptance helps you to see with radical honesty.

It’s something Jono warned us about in all those episodes of Cinema Therapy we sometimes watch for Zen Sundays in the Discord server.

Radical acceptance and radical honesty will turn your life and your outlook inside out - in the good way.

But, the more I thought about how those qualities define Lilly and how I can use that knowledge to visualize a path back there, I stumbled on an important realization.

Next lesson: “It’s Not a Quality, It’s a Practice.”