It takes a true gentleman to say he’s sorry.
No matter how big or small the action, sometimes a simple apology can make me feel less scared, less hurt, and less alone.
Whatever it was, I just wanted to say thank you for helping me feel better once we talked about it.
It really means a lot to me.
To say thank you, I brought in this very sweet and kind teacher who has very good feelings about you… just like I do. ;)
It’s hard to describe just how much an apology can mean.
I spent a long time just sitting here trying to think of how to explain to you the impact that has on me.
Because it’s a bigger impact than you might think.
You see… I’m fragile.
Like… really fragile.
I’m more fragile than you are.
Physically, for sure.
But sometimes I think emotionally, too.
I don’t know if this is true or not - because I don’t know what the truth is in other peoples’ minds - but it feels like I feel things more than other people do.
Both good and bad.
And, I don’t know if that’s true.
But, that’s how it feels.
…and… all those things I don’t like, whatever it was, for me, in my psyche, there’s a reason.
Sometimes because it makes me scared.
Sometimes because it makes me feel hurt.
Sometimes because it makes me feel alone.
Maybe it wouldn’t have the same impact on you… but it does for me.
And they’re bad feelings. The kind of bad feelings that tear a person’s soul down rather than the kind that can build it up.
And, if you did something you’re apologizing for… maybe what happened is that it simply triggered those emotions in me…
…and maybe it’s not necessarily that you did anything wrong.
Maybe it’s just the perfect storm of your action and my psyche that made me feel scared, hurt, or alone.
And so… maybe “I’m sorry” doesn’t have to mean “I did something wrong.”
Maybe, “I’m sorry” can simply mean, “I didn’t like that I caused those emotions in you.”
And so, when you say that kind of “sorry,” and you mean it, then it helps me to let go of those emotions because you don’t want me to have them, either, and, if you don’t want me to have them, then you’re not going to do the thing that gave me the emotion in the first place.
So, maybe neither of us did anything wrong… but you did do something right.
And so, for that, have another hot teacher and imagine it’s me.